


Do I love him?

by Maxwellsgirl, ToniIsWeird



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bed talking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, M/M, Past Relationship(s), romantic mood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-26
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-08 16:22:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14109309
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maxwellsgirl/pseuds/Maxwellsgirl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToniIsWeird/pseuds/ToniIsWeird
Summary: Dean and Seamus have always been best friends. The fact that Dean is dating Ginny doesn't change that. But what if one of the two isn't just expecting friendship? And what's more, what will happen if Ginny and Dean suddenly break up?





	1. Questions

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place at the end of Harry Potter and the Halfbloodprince.

Seamus was sitting in his room, staring at the door. The weather was nice, but he wasn't in the mood to go out and "have fun" like the others. A recent event had gotten him questioning some very important matters concerning his life. And with life, he meant Dean. and with event, he meant their date. Not Dean and his, but Dean and Ginnys. He frowned when thinking about what had happened on that evening. The original thought had been for him and Dean to go out and drink at The Three Broomsticks, but when he'd arrived there, Dean wasn't alone like it was planned. He'd apparently brought Ginny along and not just "brought". Those two were sitting in the back of the bar and basically eating each others faces like there was no tomorrow.

 

It would've been impossible to watch them any longer, not just because it would've been awkward, but because he felt a slight twinge in his chest when he saw those two. So the first thing he did was storm out and run all the way back to the dorms, just to throw himself on the bed and be depressed for the rest of the day. Well more like be depressed for the rest of the month, he thought bitterly and threw his pillow against the door, just as Harry entered the room while chatting eagerly with Ronald. "Woah, watch out! That one almost hit me." said Ron, laughing. Seamus turned around in his bed and managed to get out a "shooorry wonald", muffled because his cheek was presses against the matress.

 

"Well, whatever. Wanna come along and play some quidditch?" Harry asked eagerly, while searching for his broom under the bed, cheering childishly when he found it. "Nah thanks, I'll pass. Maybe next time." Seamus told them and forced out a smile that would hopefully convince them to just leave him alone and go play outside. "Uhm okay, if you dont wanna...?" Ron said with a questioning look. "You can still come along later if you change your mind. Our team could use someone as devoted to quidditch as you!" Harry finished, smiling gently. "Sure, I'll think about it", Seamus told them. -Not, he thought. And off they were, chatting about things that did not concern him.

 

It was all Deans fault, he muttered to himself quietly. His fault that he was so depressed and couldn't get himself out of bed anymore. Why do I even care, he asked himself. He wasn't exactly mad about what they did in the bar....was he? Well it wasn't like he hated Dean or Ginny for that matter. They were dating after all. Although, he'd felt hurt when he saw them....well, kiss. Was it jealousy, he thought? No, No, No!! He practically screamed and almost fell off the bed while doing so. But....It was a possibility, he admitted. To be honest, he often caught himself thinking about Dean in a way that a friend.... just wouldn't. He blushed, thinking about it and looked at himself in the mirror, confused. The problem was not him being gay,or bisexual for that matter. He'd already found out in the past that he was attracted to boys and girls equally, and he was okay with that. His problem was how he would continue that friends relationship with Dean if he really had some kind of feelings for him. Seamus was sure about the fact that he would not be able to keep it hidden for a longer period of time. Not with his bad habit of blabbing important things out to everyone. Not on purpose, of course.

 

True, he had managed to continue before as if nothing happened, telling Dean that everything was fine after the incident at the bar. After all, that had been one month ago and Dean hadn't realised his strange behavior at all. But would he be able to continue this? Lying to Dean almost every day? "I can't do it", he admitted and stared at the floor, upset with himself. Just then, Dean entered the room, looking terrified,with glistening tears in the corners of his eyes.

"Dean, I- what happened!?" Seamus jumped off the bed and quickly walked over to him.

"We broke up. Ginny and I....She dumped me, and left with some other guy" at the last syllable, Dean let out a sob and started shaking badly.


	2. The art of comforting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I thought about adding smut at the end of this fanfic, but found it kinda inappropiate...what do you think? (Pls write in the comments) By the way, I kept my promise and uploaded "soon". I guess a day after the first upload is soon enough huh, xD. Thanks for the Kudos on the first chapter, I also liked the messages I got from you. Since its my first time writing a fanfiction, I'm always thrilled when I get hits and Kudos, yay. Didn't expect it to be so successful. Also, English is not my motherlanguage so sorry if my Grammar is bad. If you didn't realise, then just ignore this haha. Please enjoy chapter 2 of "Do I?"!

"You WHAT!?" Seamus asked, shocked. He didn't know if he should be crying for Deans, or Laughing for his own sake...although, even if Dean was single, it didn't mean he had a chance now. After all, Dean was still straight. And I am... he thought... questioning my sexuality. He didn't have time to finish that thought or even blush about it, because Dean was avoiding his tried hug and running across the room, throwing himself on Seamus' bed. 

He was sobbing and shaking heavily. Whilst Seamus was pacing around the room, getting Dean some tissues to wipe the tears away. "Thanks, Seam.", said Dean, already calming down a bit. Although he still looks a bit upset, thought Seamus and sat down next to Dean.

"Shhh, It'll be okay, she doesn't deserve you anyway" he told Dean in a calm way. Although, inside he wasn't calm at all. Is this too cliche'? Is it weird for me to act like this? Why is my heart racing like that..? And I cant stop blushing...? God Seamus, pull yourself together, he thought and shook his head slightly. " What do you mean, you've always liked Ginny, right?" Dean asked. "No!-I mean, yes! Well, everyone thinks she's nice and all but she cheated on you, right...? Ugh, sorry, I'm so bad at comforting people, you know what I mean right...?" Seamus looked around, unsure of what to say in a situation like this.

And it didn't help at all that he was starting to realize just how big his feelings for Dean were. Suddenly, Dean started giggling. Not quite laughing his head off, but exposing a shy smile and soft laughter to Seamus. "Seam, if you ever ask yourself why you're literally the most important person in my life right now, this. This is the reason." he said, smiling gently, wiping away a tear. "What do you mean, this? My terrible comforting-skills?" asked Seamus, a bit confused. Though he was glad that Dean had calmed down. He wouldn't have been able to handle a crying, shaking Dean without hugging him. "Because you manage to make me laugh in the most inappropiate situations. Always.", Dean answered, blushing a bit.

Does he even realise what he's saying!? Thought Seamus, horribly confused. It was pointless, trying to hide his completely red face at this point. Dean seemed to notice but continued anyway, "That's not what I meant. It's true that you're horrible at comforting,but you keep trying and you're always there for me when I'm down...this sounds so cliche', sorry." he said and grinned a bit, still blushing.

"God if you continue being like this then I'll-" "Then what?" Dean interrupted. "N-nothing!", Seamus almost shouted and jumped off the bed. Shit, he thought. Did I just say that out loud!? Seamus walked around the bed and lied down again, right next to him. "You don't seem that terrified about your break-up..? Or am I wrong?" He slily changed the topic, although he knew that it was risky to ask something like this at the moment.

"Ugh well, now that you mention it, I wasn't really sad about it...just so, y'know, confused as to why she even did that in the first place..." Dean wanted to continue, but Seamus interrupted, "stop stop, from the start, please. I won't get it otherwise" he laughed, "Okay okay" Dean said. "But just because it's you, get it?" he started

"I just didn't know anymore, everything was going so great with us", Dean said and started rolling around in the sheets with a confused look. Seamus was starting to blush again, but how was he supposed to sleep in his bed if Deans scent would still be lingering there!? Well just ignore it for now, he tried to tell himself. "But then,after some time passed, she started behaving so strange," Dean continued", so I asked if everything was alright and she just started shouting and blaming me for 'ruining our relationship'. 

I didn't know what was going on but then she blurted out that she's gotten tired of me or something. Well, and that thing about the other guy...crap, I forgot his name. Sorry, I haven't really been listening starting from that point. Though, I guess you could say that we broke up. Even if she didn't actually tell me that it's over." Dean looked at Seamus as if he was expecting something, but continued anyway.

"And then I just stormed out, I actually walked around Hogwarts a few times before coming to you, I just needed to think-" "wait a minute, wait a minute!" Seamus interrupted, laughing. "At this point, it doesn't sound like you're sad at all, I mean you're saying sad things but you sound strangely joyful-" He couldn't finish that sentence because Dean started talking again, "That's what I meant, I was confused and angry, but not sad...though, it still made me cry." he said, laughing awkwardly.

 

"So you still..love her?" Seamus asked, backing away a few inches. Everything just now had felt so..just like the old times, where no girls were involved. He looked at Dean, unsure and sceptically. "No...well, yes, kinda. Although I already realized that it's more like...love between siblings, you know?

I guess that she just expected more in our relatinship than I was willing to give. Always wanting to kiss in public places and 'take the next step'. I couldn't stand all that drama, and I guess it was showing...a bit. Maybe that's why she started meeting that no-name guy. What I'm trying to say is that I didn't love her, but it still made me sad that she just left me without even trying to fix something", Dean finished with a deep breath and smiled at Seamus sheepishly. Both of them were blushing at this rate.

 

".....so you're over it?"

"I'm not going to repeat myself, stupid" Dean grinned at Seamus.

Seamus looked at the ground, arguing in his head if he should just confess or if it was to risky. 'Pull yourself together, he thought. It's not like he's a homophobe or something. He took a deep breath, saying "If It's like that, then I have something to tell you"

"Sure what is it?" Dean asked, looking a bit concerned because of Seamus' concentrated expression just now.

"I love....-the sunset!" 'Crap I can't do this, way to soon! They just broke up, man!', he thought, blushing and cursing under his breath quietly.

".........what..?" Dean looked so confused, yet cute right now, he just had to do something.

"Just look out the window, it's beautiful, right? Haha..?"

"Uhm sure.." Dean said and turned his head around to get a better look out of the window, which gave Seamus just the right amount of time to calm down and act natural again.

'maybe another time, just not now. I'd be a horrible friend if I confessed on the day he breaks up.' Seamus thought and smiled to himself, looking out of the window with Dean, sitting on his bed and almost hugging.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this took me the whole night guys. Going to bed now. And yes, there will be a next chapter. I'll also try to upload as soon as I can ;-) As always, Kudos and comments appreciated. Thamks for reading my story, I hope you won't miss the 3rd part.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading,Kudos and comments appreciated. Advice and tips or suggestions as well! :-)


End file.
